3 April 10

'its really hard to cope out there when you dont know what's out there in store'
'its hard to cope out there when you know there's so many things in store'
its going to be hard to cope out there with pressure.'

my head's basically thinking 'hardhardhardhard' all the way.
emo?
hard.
its hard to do everything nowadays.

concert's in 1 month.
and im still coping with notes.
everyone's already got the notes and i havent.
and we still have 2 more pieces.
and if i practice at home,

homework.
im still left with tasks 1,3-9.
im supposed to complete all of these by monday.
preferably.

not like there's no more to come.
its only the beginning.

the second half of the year hasn't even come yet and i'm going to stress myself out already.

i need help.
but im afraid to approach for help.

i need to lower my pride for my family.
i need to complete my homework.
i need to practice.
i need to look strong, be strong.
i need to study.
econs, GP, maths, chemistry, bio, PW. i need to be good.
i need to cope with family.
pressure from friends, teachers, family.
i need some time to space out from all these needs.

as much of a guy as i am.
pfft.
this shouldnt even be up.

update tonight again.
going to use my sister's laptop for the rest of the day,
guests coming to sleep overnight in my room today.
thus i cant use my computer.
no distractions.
i hope.


my good friend told me before if i want to lose my pride,
i should kneel down and pray for help.
i hope i can do it soon.
in sincerity.

if victoria school teaches us to be proud victorians,
victoria jc teaches us to control that pride.