17 May 10

stop wearing masks
because im sick and tired of listening to lies,
listening to hidden messages,
of listening.

am i getting sick and tired of everything?

well..
there's this new responsibility of strings.
there's this new incoming floorball stick im going to buy because i wanna buy it.
maybe new shoes.
tv series? if im free / wanna slack off.

thats all for the good part.

bad part..
studies. im seriously slacking off and i cant get back up. dont know where to begin. unable to pull others' hands.
cca. its only gonna get more stress with the increased responsibility.
syfc. good grape rotting.
friends. seems like studies cause i dont know where to walk or what to do.
studies. did i mention that already?
family time. parents are complaining its not enough and i imagine its only going to get less.
buddy time.
study time.


gosh im such a stupid dick to think that i can get my As even if i slack off like this.


time's ticking.
even if i smash the clock, time wont stop for me, nor reverse.
what choice do we have.
move on.
even if i dont get my As in the long run,
what choice do i have.

stupid life and its 'straight' route.
is this what God had intended us to do?
to lead a straight life so that we can be set free from ourselves and join Him?
Morals and Virtues.
does that equate to religion or does religion really hold a holy path behind it.
no one knows.
only this mental Faith and Belief.

i thought i knew about Him before.
i guess i lost Him.

i need to spend time finding Him again,
among other things.
i need to have faith in my life again,
as well as others'.

'Tug me and i'll move towards that direction, but pull me and i'll resist.'
so what's the closeness in the definition of 'pull' and 'tug'.
that's sensitivity.


gosh Geeeeeeee how do i make myself stop thinking so much.