27 June 10

fancy that, 3 posts/edits in 1 day.

so my holidays have came to an end.
as ashley put nicely:" its but a long weekend."
well,
i certainly didnt live up to my personal expectations.
i expected to study,
which i didnt.
i expected to mug and beat the rest,
i didnt.
i expected to find a goal for studying,
which i havent.

and i expected myself to get over myself.
which i sorta kinda woulda did.
but i still dont know.
heck,
i dont know what i did with my holidays.
feels like a long dream with ups and downs.

of course,
i went out with ashley and eugene and sikai and honghui and guiyan and my pw group and my class(chalet) and other people who i forgot at the moment.
and i got closer to siddharth and honghui and guiyan and other people who i forgot at the moment.

and i thought about my life a little further,
and lost my way a little more.

now i feel like a content idiot who doesnt know what to do with his life.
which sounds really bad.

ohyes and my sister broke up with her boyfriend this holidays.

and my computer totally got fried and reborn.
it has its life anew, and so should i.

heck, i felt i really changed over the year and i dont like it one bit.
looking back,
i felt times which i was snobbish,
stubborn,
lost,
lovedrunk,
irresponsible,
uncaring,
unfriendly.

and heck,
i dont know where to start (as usual)
and the usual answer is 'take one step at a time, slowly.'
yup ill take one step at a time.

so for this coming year and a half,
other than academic goals,
ill aim to be less stubborn,
less self-centered,
friendly.

ill try to find the balance between 'fun','feelings','work','music','family'.

oh yeah,
and i went running total 2 times this holidays.
5km and 6km.

and i definitely feel leaner.
its a good sign.

although my method of removing yourself from guilt of not studying is to go exercise.

okay im officially done with blogging today.
have a good week and goodluck.