i look at my life and i wonder how i managed to survive this far.
i look at others' lives and i wonder how they do stuff without feeling weird or bad or wrong.

i look at logics and sometimes they dont make sense.
i convince others and sometimes they dont get me.

looking at my pathetic sad life now,
i'm supposed to live through this shit and make it to army,
to work.

besides,
what's happiness without money?

of course,
some kinds of happiness can be gotten without money.
but you need the monetary cost covered before having fun / being glad/happy right.
not like you will be as happy as an old man on the streets compared to an old man in a bedroom.
or a girl being happy with her bf just because she likes his company and that's it.
there's always potential for more.

argh wtf.
now i cant convince myself.

at the end of the day,
depression and pessimism catches up to me.
always.
just a lonely old boy with his lonely old woes and his lonely old life.